


fresh air

by lillullaby



Category: Bandom, Fall Out Boy
Genre: M/M, joe and andy, learning the characters
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-12-28
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2018-01-06 12:55:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1107081
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillullaby/pseuds/lillullaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You shouldn't read this.</p><p> </p><p>Learning my boys, so it's just character practice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. intro

**Author's Note:**

> Practice makes perfect

I have been desperately unhappy with my writing as of late.

I'm out of practice and my work has been so clynical and cut and dry. So I thought I could get back into the flow by just writing some character perspectives. 

 

If you want to read them, then that would be fine. But they aren't going to be very polished. I just needed a place to post them so I don't obsess over them.

But just don't be surprised if any of thr ideas in them end up in fic. 

Also, this is thr only time I will write from first person so hey, theres that.


	2. rain and morning skies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Can we lay on the dock in the rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Joe perspective. 
> 
> A break down in wonder and slowing down and drawn to earth.

Can we lay on the dock in the rain. 

The little wood one with the frayed rope around the one remaining cleat from a boat tugged free.  
Letting the water rush over us and the slap of water against the sand and mist and lake. 

Who knew that smell, the new one the fresh clean one the sharp one, of dirt and cement and leaves would be so easy to equate with you.  
With the way you tip your head back to catch drops, like they're candy sweet. The hair that falls in your face and gets stuck in little curls around the nape of your neck.  
I've never seen the two of you in one place. That smell of newfreshsharpclean, and you with your hair. But maybe that's just the way of it, wnd that you are truly one in the same hiding out and waiting until I'm looking. Or maybe you've run and never found it. 

Maybe not.

Maybe on that little wooden dock we can find it together. 

Can we lay and feel it pound against our skin. a moment in time I never take and always should. The moments you drag me under for, keeping me in the present for a moment longer before I rush off to the future. Can we lay side by side without speaking just us and breathing and rain. 

Then can you sing to me? Can you murmur little ditties that make you smile that little smile of hope and angels and joy. The one that makes my heart go taptaptap like water on a Windows begging to come inside and stay warm from the chill.

It's like a tight blanket wrapped around you on a winters day, that smile, and when you sing I can feel it in my whole body. Makes my toes curl and my heart flutter and I want I want I want. 

 

Can you sing Mrs. Robinson under your breathe as water drips from your eyelashes and I watch it trail down your cheek.  
Can I believe for a second that you are the savior they preach about in the churches I will never go to and romanticise the idea that you will wash me clean.  
That one look from you is all I need for my soul to go from mud to snow. 

Can you open your eyes and look at me the way you do when you see the sky in the morning? That little hello I missed your face I hope you never change. 

And I want I want I want.

 

And though we sit inside on a day where the sun blazes and there isn't a cloud for miles and it's loud and gross and dry.

You look over and there it is  
Hello  
I missed your face  
Never change.  
I love you.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I hate that you drink and smoke and god, I wish for your happiness and all the things you could be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Andy perspective
> 
> Joe is everything andy hates  
> But andy doesn’t hate him.
> 
> Sometimes it's worth the heartache to have what you are when you aren't.

I hate that you drink.

Every time I see you kiss that bottle, your lips drinking it in with practiced ease, my stomach turns to lead and I want to break the bottle.over your head.  
Watch the glass catch in your hair and scream for it to stop.

You pull smoke into your lungs and I watch it choke you. It's slow- takes years, in fact- but that makes it even harder to watch you drown in your liquor and choke on your smoke as it strangles your lungs. 

I don't want to think about the pills or the mary jane or the needles -I don't want to look up and see your brain addled. Don't want to talk to a person who isn't you. Not a stranger, exactly, but someone nothing like you who lives when you take that hit. Someone I've spent an unfortunate amount of time with. 

I want to throw a fit. To scream and punch and growl and hiss. 

Screaming how much better you are than this  
Because fuck fuck you are   
You could live a huge life one with wonder and coherence and deliberation and it could be wonderful.

But it isn't my life and I don't have a say and you don't want my life. I'm not sure if we would be us or you would be you if you did.

You want to be in mine

And I want to be in yours.

And maybe it's worth, this discomfort. This gnawing feeling, sometimes.

Because as much as I hate the smoke curling in your lungs, resent the drink and drugs.

I love you more than any of that. And that means all of you, not just the shit I'm comfortable with.


	4. Andy's boys

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I NEED HELP MAKING THIS INTO A FIC- IF YOU ARE INTERESTED LET ME KNOW.
> 
> I AM WILLING TO EMAIL OR TEXT OR SOME SHIT.
> 
> BUT THIS HAS BEEN IN MY HEAD FOR FUCKING WEEKS HELP.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How the band breaks down

Pete's words  
Patrick's music  
Joe's band  
Andy’s boys.

"I'm here to keep you guys from fucking killing eachother or yourselves.  
To make sure you don't eat crap 100% of the time.  
To send you bed at a reasonable hour and keep Pete from staying up for three days straight.  
To give Pete until he takes his medicine.  
And to make sure you don't do anything too stupid

I'm not your fucking mother- you're going to fuck things up. I don't give a fuck. That's your prerogative. But dammit, I'll be there to keep you breathing."

**Author's Note:**

> Kisses and love


End file.
